A lot of ladies know exactly what I am talking about. When your spouse is working hard and you are moaning and groaning but completely tired from not getting enough stimulation so you begin to scream and rear and buck like a crazy person until it drives him over the edge and you can finally go to bed.
A huge percentage of women in the world today do a better job getting themselves off than having an orgasm from actual penetration and that shouldn’t be.
Sex is an extremely pleasurable experience and it really is not fair to you if you are not getting the full experience while your partner sleeps like a baby at night. Some partners really try to get you there but the thing with an orgasm is- you have to allow yourself or it just won’t come (or you just won’t cum).
There are several types of orgasms. Not everyone is the same and some feel better than others. An orgasm however always feels good and so this article will be the first of many that shows you how to get to that ‘peak’ you only every seem to see in movies.
These are a few things to consider that will be sure to guide you to an orgasm:
- His time and your time: The first thing you need to know is that studies have shown that it takes a man about 17 minutes less than a woman to have an orgasm. What this means is that while your spouse can be on the brink of his orgasm 3-4 minutes into sex, it will take you going at an increasing tempo about 20 minutes after the act starts to near your climax. Some men are very patient and can delay their orgasm until their woman is close but this takes a herculean amount of discipline.
- Foreplay: The importance of foreplay cannot be over emphasised. A lot of couples do about 5 minutes of kissing and the minute ‘Johnny stands up’ the man is ready to put on a rubber and ‘dive in’. You need to tell Johnny to slow down. 5 minutes of kissing does not do much to get your lady parts wet, you need to be petted, rubbed, caressed. etc. Don’t underestimate the power of a little oral play. There is no point racing to the finish line especially when you have time- trust me, slowly teasing will be pleasurable for both you and your partner.
- Dirty thoughts: So this is very important. A woman who does not orgasm is a woman who is not turned on enough. Simple. Studies have shown that people have all sorts of ‘sexual fantasies’ that get them off and whether you think yours is ‘appropriate’ or not, you have one too. So use it. Do not be afraid to let your mind wander to the things that turn you on- no it does not count as ‘mental cheating’ if you imagine things that turn you on. Let your mind wonder, to those things that have aroused you in the past and you are guaranteed to get that much closer to your orgasm.
- Dirty talk: I am not saying go all dramatic and start yelling when there is nothing to yell about yet, but go with the flow (literally ;). What this means is that you need to stop stifling your moans and be more vocal about how whatever your partner is doing feels. In many cases, the more you moan, sigh or say something dirty, the more your partner begins to do the same. Instead of acting like robots with one end goal in mind, allow your body feel and sense and say.
- Don’t Stop: Now these two words will work well right before you reach your peak. If you have incorporated all these things, then you are very close to getting there. From here on, when your partner does even the slightest thing that gives you extra-sensitivity, do not let him stop. Oh yes, the words don’t stop make a world of difference because not only will it turn him on to know that he is doing something terribly right, it will drive you mad with pleasure and then, with a little more movement, you will finally taste that pleasure.
Ps. If you are extremely nervous about this, your body might not get in the zone the way your mind would like; so have a glass of wine to calm your nerves and remember that a little lubricant goes a long way.
Cheers to never having to ‘fake it‘ again!
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