Can a girl and a guy ever be just friends?
This was the question I asked myself in 100 level when I had an issue with my female best friend. I was surprisingly angry when she started a relationship talk and all her references made me feel extremely jealous. Before I knew what was happening, I turned to the only place I felt could answer the question The Internet. And her answer was simple according to the movie When Harry Met Sally made in 1989 “Men and Women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way”
This was the verdict that the internet gave me, and I decided to end the friendship or what was left because I am a classic Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceptive(INTP) guy. I hate being made to feel emotions and feeling. Coming to terms with jealousy was not my priority at that point!
Fast Forward to the present day. I still have this argument with my girl every time. I usually tell her that, every guy in her life (whether an ex or previous crush) is just a friend now while my exes or previous crushes are potential people that will hop in at any chance they get.
A post on twitter said “No guy and girl are just “friends” without a sexual intention. They are either not there yet, they have gone past it or not admitting it”. Argue with me, I have time. Lol.
I am sure majority of you will argue with this, but I actually think the post was correct to a large extent. The truth is that people can chose to ignore the sexual intents although sometimes it tends to surface eventually.
So, what is the right policy to have with friends of the opposite sex? In relationships this is very complex and such complex questions require nuanced answers.
When you think about it, trying to cage your panther from their “male” friends might cause more harm than good. It can affect the persons happiness, sense of purpose and sense of freedom. When a person feels this way, it will cause bigger issues down the line.
However, letting your panther have so many friends may not also be the best because friends with bad intentions can create unnecessary temptation that leads to the dreaded INFIDELITY.
The only rule I can set within a relationship is to be transparent. Keep your panther involved, respect your panther and protect their ego. This will make sure that your panther feels carried along and is secure.
I strongly believe that men and women can be friends if they want to regardless of the latent attraction between them. And there is a test to sure about if you and your friend are truly just friends.
It is simple. Buy a bottle of your favorite vodka or whiskey and let each person take 10 shots. If anyone of you make a sexual move on an then they are not just friends but If none of you make any move, then you are “just friends!”