How To Get A Man To Spend Money On You (Without Thinking You Are A Gold-digger)

How To Get A Man To Spend Money On You (Without Thinking You Are A Gold-digger)



Some men have money but somehow, when it comes to showering you with it or material things, they are quite tight fisted.

If this is you, please note that there is a reason for everything. 

Let us first look at the reasons why men that have money, DON’T want to spend money on their women:

1. They’ve been burned before:

Please note that women are not the only ones who get heartbroken. A lot of men are heart broken for two reasons; – Their Ex left them because the were broke

                                              -Their Ex was dating them ONLY because they were rich

Now please note that this is usually the major reason why a man that says he ‘loves’ you, or is ‘into you’ is not very enthusiastic about spending his hard end cash on you.

2. They are saving up for something major:

Another reason why a man doesn’t want to part with his money is the fact that he may have invested in something.

Like it or not, you want to date a smart money man and if his funds are tied up building a home for instance, you should really respect that.

3. He is Stingy:

There are generally some human beings (male and female) who have difficulty spending on even themselves.

It is possible that your man falls into this category and if this is the case, you might want to reconsider.

Trust me, you don’t want to ‘manage’ for the rest of your life, especially when you have the resources to do better than ‘manage’.

What Next?

Please note that the second and third types of guys listed above are really not going to be spending a lot on you (one for a while, the other possibly forever).

With this at the back of your mind, know that if you can’t be patient for the man building a house or don’t want to ‘manage forever’, you may as well hop off that ship now.

If your man falls into the first category, it means that he likes to spend money but doesn’t trust women enough anymore.

What you need to do therefore is build his trust and leave him rest assured that his money means nothing to you.

Here is how you do it:

1. First thing to note: I am not going to ask you to pay on the first date or something like that (let the man be the man).

However, after you have become ‘close enough’ and have gone on at least 3 dates, take him somewhere (*even if it’s a movie and then foot the bill*)

2. Stop telling him about all your financial worries so soon: A man who already feels like women are after his money will be quite irritated if you are bawling your eyes out because you cant pay your rent.

What would you have done if he hadn’t come along? Strategize and find other ways- you can’t simply make a man your Messiah, the minute he walks into your life.

3. ‘I don’t need your money’: At some point or the other when this man sees how independent you are, he may try to test you and offer you something dramatic, so soon after you start talking, just to get a reaction.

Eg. The man says something like; ‘your car is too old, should I buy you a new one?‘ What you shouldn’t do is jump at the option immediately.

Instead, respond to him calmly and let him know that your car is just fine and thank him for offering.

4. Be kind: Don’t crack jokes about how he is stingy. Be a good friend to him and listen when he talks.

Treat him as you would any other person that you care for and make sure he values your friendship.

5. Buy Nice things for yourself: Buy your weaves, clothes, regular quality stuff that you like and then let him notice.

Let him see how good you always look, how put together you are and then let him see that you can afford that life.

Please note that it helps if you are a woman that works 


Let all these things simmer with him and continue to be good friends/whatever you guys are for a while.

Once he has established that you are independent and really don’t need him, he will be ready to chase you to the ends of the earth because he will believe ‘they don’t make em like you anymore’.

Trust me, the money will flow.

Ps. If your man doesn’t fall into any of these categories, he is most likely broke. You now have the choice of staying with him until he ‘blows’ or leaving if you are not down for that.

Also note: No condition is permanent.

Kanyinsola Ojeshina
Writer and Content creator, avid reader, social caterpillar, lawyer in equity, all round creative mind and lover of God. Twitter- @kanyeeo Instagram- @kanyeeo email-

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  • Yvonne Ononiba January 30, 2017 11:35 pm

    Nice one!

  • winifred Hembafan Tyolumun January 31, 2017 11:00 am


  • anonymous September 25, 2018 1:21 pm


  • beebee October 11, 2018 4:17 pm

    You have spoken well

  • anonymous October 14, 2018 4:36 pm

    Can you please send me inbox advice I am dead broke live at home with my mom’s feeling like a bomb

  • Reid Wilson October 14, 2018 4:38 pm

    Got two kids ready to change my game

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