How To Make Him Foreplay Better

How To Make Him Foreplay Better

When it comes to sex, you can agree with me that men can be very very selfish. Once they get the urge, all they want to do is get in and get out, not thinking about whether their woman is even aroused yet. They usually write foreplay off and often think it’s a waste of time. What they fail to understand is that women need it as a build up for emotional as well as a physical prerequisite to enjoying a mind-blowing orgasmic experience prior to the grand finale “the sexual intercourse”. It’s actually not entirely their fault.

cuddlingThe truth is, your man might actually be ignorant to the fact that you need foreplay prior to the actual sexual act and sex doesn’t start when clothes are off. Men are wired completely different from women as they tend to be aroused more by what they see. Unlike us women, who need more teasing touches, he can be aroused by just seeing you naked. Research has shown that women need at least 20 pre-penetration minutes to awaken our orgasm engine.

So what is foreplay and what can you do about it? Foreplay is a sexual activity that precedes sexual intercourse. It is set on emotional and physical intimate connection between a couple to create sexual arousal and desire for sex. Please, don’t fret as all hope is not lost. You can actually teach your partner how to become a foreplay master and it won’t take long either. Try these few things and watch the magic happen.

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Lots of kissing

Kissing is one of the most intimate foreplay you and your partner can partake in to get the blood flowing to rev you up for sex. As women, we get our greatest arousing pleasure from frequent and passionate kissing.  Did you know that couples who kiss more actually have a long lasting relationship and tend to have  a juicier sex life? There is also an act of kissing, it’s all in the swirling of the tongue with the lips on one another with hot/ cold sensation. Slowly suck his lower lip, it’s a big turn on. If you can, kiss for a minimum of 5 minutes before doing anything else to each other. Don’t forget to moan and groan while kissing. Other hotspots of his face such as his ears and earlobes should not be neglected. Tell him to also kiss your neck, forehead, nose and other places he sees fit.  Well, there you have it, you now have more excuses to kiss.

Tip: Remember, you want to turn him on and not off. Don’t give him an offputting sloppy kiss. Ensure your oral hygiene is on point by brushing your mouth, using mouthwash and flossing daily, chewing gum, and also drinking lots of water to maintain a healthy oral hygiene.

Please, Undress Me

Undressing one another is also part of foreplay. This should not be rushed either. While kissing etc take each other’s clothes off. As the lady, you can even let him struggle to get it off by fooling around. What about wearing a jumpsuit prior to meeting up .. lol that’s a punishment but in a fun way. It’s also good after sex to start picking your clothes from all corners of the room or house … lol.

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Photo Credit

Pre-coital massage

Educate him on the importance of touch and let him tour your body with a sexy massage to rev you up for the main event, that highly craved “mind-blowing sex”. It’s actually less about the massage and more about building a sexual desire and excitement. He should start by warming his hands with body oil or lotion. He should then massage your back,  the length of your legs, from your upper thighs down to your ankles in one sweeping movement. Followed by massaging your feet and if they are clean tell him to suck your toes too.  Take the massage in turns, men love in between their toes being tickled and sucked; while calves and heels being massaged. They all have a connection to his “big man”. You’ll be both on a sexual high after this. By the way, the small dent above the crease of the bum is also a hot spot on each others body, massage it in a circular motion to get that feeling.


This is what the face of a sexually satisfied woman looks like - Photo Credit
This is what the face of a sexually satisfied woman looks like – Photo Credit

Clit Action

After all the kissing and massage, he now needs to work on one of the most sensitive parts of your body “The Clit”. Get him to gently rub the hood and sides. It should be teased rather than stimulated directly as it’s actually quite painful. During oral sex, get him to also gently lick and suck on it with breaks in between up/down plus sideways. Basically, different variations to build up excitement and sexual anticipation. Get him to massage the labia too, the entrance to the vagina due to the sensitivity of their nerves.

Tip: Do moan and groan while all this happening. Talk dirty to one another if you need to. Just let go and let loose.

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Let him know what turns you on. It’s his joy to know he’s able to satisfy his woman, making him feel more in control. Rather than guessing what you like. If a man knows you enjoy what he’s doing to you, it’s a big turn-on for him too. He might not know that sexual desire actually starts in the brain/head. The longer you both can hold out for, the higher the sexual anticipation and the worthier the actual sex will be. Does he also know that he can build up foreplay even while you are not together through sexting, emails, dirty talks via voice notes and even video chat? After all, technology is now a tool to aid better sex in relationships /marriages.



Don’t forget my Boobs

Why are these babies sometimes neglected? They are not just  for the kids to suck on, they are also for both your sexual pleasure. Tell him to suck the nipple in a circular motion or grazing on it with his teeth gentle, then groping the entire breast softly. Apparently, the smaller the breast, the more sensation it has. Well, for big breasted ladies, don’t let that deter you.



If one hand is fondling with the breast, then it means the other hand is free. Let him play with your clit by moving his other hand there. More fun for you.  Even if it’s you pleasuring him, he should also use his hand to caress your body, hair, face or even find a way to awaken your sexual hotspots.

On a final note, the trick to foreplay is being soft and gentle. Your body is not kilishi, and it should not be treated as one. The gentler the touches, the higher the anticipation and of course the “grand finale”. The longer you can prolong it, the better quality orgasm you will have when you actually eventually have sex. Always remember that iIt’s all about building up a sexual appetite.




Mariam Tijani
Nigeria Born, England Raised & now Lagos Resident. I love Fashion, Design, Adventure, World Cuisine, Music, Entrepreneurship and Innovation. I am on a mission to Inspire African Youths.

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