Friends with Benefits?!

Friends with Benefits?!

Friends with Benefits: Dynamics and Boundaries‘Jeez man!’ I screamed as I nearly jumped out of my skin, my heart beating rapidly. Uche had crept up on me as usual, the noise of the blender drowning out the sounds of the door and her footsteps, which were typically hard to hear as she had perfected the art of moving soundlessly.

‘What is wrong with you? Do you want to kill me before my time?’ I glowered. ‘Sorry’, she muttered, her eyes twinkling with the spark of mischief. Rolling my eyes, I emptied the blended pepper and onion mix into the boiling meats; I was making ogbono soup.

‘So, where have you been?’ I inquired, I hadn’t seen her in a week, which was unusual. Grabbing a pear from the fruit bowl, she perched on the kitchen stool, ‘Lagos, of course’, she replied. Picking up the bunch of oha leaves, I sat on a stool and stared intently at her, waiting for more gist; I knew she was here to talk.
‘You remember Ernest?’ she asked. ‘Tall, dark, Ernest’, of course, I do, ‘what about him?’ I responded. ‘Did I tell you we were together?’ My ears stood straight, ‘say what? How long have you been guys been?’ ‘Errm, about two months’.

I nearly fell off my chair. Two months and I didn’t know? Then she went on to give me the full gist. She had met Ernest at Timi’s party and they had hit it off after drawing at a game of concentration. They exchanged numbers before leaving and talked non-stop the next week. The following weekend, he invited her over to his place and after they had feasted on his home-cooked spread, they headed to the beach. Two weeks and five dates later, it was evident to both of them that their chemistry was strong, almost electric, fire meets gasoline. Being the straightforward person that she was, she asked Ernest what they should do about their feelings.

He explained to her that he had just gotten out of a relationship and could only offer a ‘friends with benefits’ (FWB) package. Although disappointed as he had almost all the qualities she wanted in a man, she agreed, having decided to also stay away from relationships; and by the end of that evening, she could smell him on every pore on her skin. The next two months were filled with toe-curling, thigh-shivering, earth-shattering orgasms for both of them as they explored every nook and cranny of each other’s anatomy. Life was sweet, until last week. She had reconnected with an old friend from school and had been considering accepting his advances.

After their last romp, she explained to Ernest that it would be their last as she was moving on; he had taken it with sadness in his eyes and given her one for the road. The next day however, he called to tell her how he had fallen in love with her and wanted them to have a proper relationship. Shocked at his declaration, she said it was over between them and a relationship wouldn’t work out, and for the next week, she all but changed her line to avoid his calls and messages. She couldn’t for the life of her understand why he was developing feelings when it was he who proposed that they be friends with benefits and she couldn’t bring herself to see him beyond that; in her opinion, they had the wrong foundation for a stable relationship.

After she had left, I found myself wondering about the dynamics of relationships and how one can successfully separate feelings from sex, especially when one’s partner is the ideal mate and both have a solid friendship besides the benefits.

Have you ever been in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, did you enjoy it, did anyone develop feelings and how did it end? Please share in the comments section.

Chioma Chukwu
Chioma Chukwu is an MSc Environmental Health graduate of UWE, Bristol. Constantly trying to learn about her world, you’ll often catch her reading a book in her spare time or having an interesting conversation. Fried plantain and eggs, and new episodes of The Big Bang Theory are the surest ways to her heart. She blogs at: www.nnuego.wordpress.com

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