Hey KamGirls, let’s be honest: Having friends with benefits (FWD) can be incredibly convenient!
I mean, what’s not to like about the idea of having a no-strings sex with a guy you like and respect, but don’t necessarily want a future with?
However, FWB also comes with a few asterisks. Namely?
If you start to blur the lines, you’re opening a big can of worms. To avoid confusion, awkwardness, and disappointments, here are the do’s and don’ts to keep in mind.
DO be honest.
You need to make sure that you’re open about everything. Both of you need to be on the same page in case either of you start developing feelings for each other. Same thing goes if one person wants to end it. You both have to be okay with the end result.
DO speak your (sex) mind.
The main point of having a FWB is to have amazing, satisfying sex. Be honest about what you like and what you don’t like.
DO groom yourself as if he were your boyfriend.
Even though you don’t want a relationship, it’s not fair to your friend with benefits if you show up to your trysts with unshaven bodies and all what not, stained undies, and dirty hair. Common courtesy, ladies.
DO ensure you’re emotionally ready.
Having casual sex can be emotionally tough, especially for some women. Most of us are programmed to feel a connection after we sleep with someone, so you need to make sure you’re 100% okay with having sex that won’t lead to anything deeper.
DO practice safe sex—always.
Condoms are lifesavers. Not only do they prevent you from having little babies with a guy you’re not interested in long-term, but they also make sure you stay STD-free, which is key when you’re having sex with someone you’re not monogamous with.
DO keep your eyes (and heart) open for new relationships.
In other words: Don’t get too comfortable, or close yourself off from finding someone you want to be with. You don’t want miss out on not getting to know someone amazing just because you have a sex buddy.
DON’T have sleepovers.
Having sleepovers confuses things. You want to keep yourself from getting emotionally attached, so sleeping next to your FWB—and walking up next to him—is extremely intimate. Say goodnight, take a shower, and get into bed feeling relaxed, satisfied, and totally comfortable with the fact that he went home.
Cuddling encourages intimacy which is a no-no with a friend with benefits. You want to keep things simple. Spooning complicates them.
DON’T expect bells and whistles.
Don’t expect anything relationship-like. No fancy dinners, flowers, gifts, or games. When you have a FWB, you’re having casual sex, and (maybe) some conversation—that’s it.
DON’T be clingy.
This is a friendship, not a relationship. Leaving a change of clothes or toothbrush at his place is highly discouraged, as is giving him grief if he has plans, a date, or has to cancel on you. Once you become a stage 5 clinger, the fun is done.
DON’T introduce your FWB to your parents.
A FWB is supposed to be temporary. If they don’t already know him, don’t introduce him to your family or friends. You don’t want people in your life to start nagging you about “what’s going on with you guys?!”
DON’T get mad if he meets someone.
Your FWB is not your boyfriend. He’s allowed to date, tinder stalk, or Facebook friend anyone he wants. If you find out he’s interested in someone, that’s okay, he’s not cheating on you. You’re free to date anyone you want, too.
DON’T leave the bedroom.
After a few nights of what’s hopefully amazing sex, don’t feel forced to start doing date-like things like going shopping together, seeing a movie, or inviting him to dinner because you connect so well in the bedroom, you assume it’ll translate elsewhere. Keep your chemistry contained to the bedroom where it belongs. If you decide you both have stronger feelings, it’ll happen organically.